If I had a Million Dollars...

Have you ever laid your head down upon your pillow at night, after going that afternoon and taking that leap of faith and purchased a lottery ticket. There's that moment of certainty, that THIS time, there's no doubt, that THIS time it'll be YOUR number called out when all the little ping pong balls fall into the tubes. Isn't that feeling wonderful?

First thoughts: Depending on how much money you're going to win, is "How much money can I give away to my family and friends, and still be filthy rich?" Now, this is a valid question, because giving away a chunk of the money is vital--it saves you from appearing to be greedy, and it ensures that if your relatives win money they give some back to you. More importantly, if you're like me, and you offer a small prayer for success, you are getting on the good side of the Lord about the good works you will do if he just this one time, alters the goings on down here for your benefit. It never hurts to enlist His aid. It never seems to amount to much in terms of dollars and cents won, but you are certainly going to lose if you say, "Lord, I'm going to keep every last penny, buy the mortgages on my family's homes, foreclose and make a killing. Mom and Dad have an absolutely GREAT location..."

Now, once you've got the good deeds out of the way, and you're still filthy rich, what is the first thing you want to buy, for YOU? For me, it has always been about a car. A Mustang, to be exact. I've wanted a really souped up, hot rod, fancy one since I was old enough to hear the throaty rumble, and read 5.0 on the side of the car. The conundrum: Do I buy an old classic one, or a new modern one? Ford has really aided this decision recently as they have gone quite retro in the design of my dream car. I can have my cake AND eat it too! Yay, me!

Of course, driving a Mustang in the winter can be dangerous, with all that power and torque. Besides that, driving a muscle car in winter is for those that can't afford a beater. Let's buy an SUV, they're safer in bad weather, right? Can anyone say, Lincoln Navigator? A black one, with all the bells and whistles. That should suffice. It also serves a use, I can tow my boat with it, or my snowmobile trailer. Gotta be practical, right?

My wife needs a new car too, whatever she wants. Pretty sure she wants an Escape. Maybe if we show up at the dealership with a wad of cash we can get a really good deal? Maybe at cost...Just because I'm rich, it doesn't mean I want to waste money. And as for our van, our perfectly good minivan, that we both really enjoy driving, and is the nicest vehicle we've owned to date: I'm sure we have a friend who'll buy it from us. Even if we sell it at a loss.

So now I've got a bitchin' ride, I've helped out my family and bestowed my benevolence upon my friends. I'm really a good guy, aren't I? What do I need now? Um, a house, that's what. I need a NICE house, to reward myself for being so nice. Do I build, or do I walk up and knock on the door of the house I've been drooling over since I moved to this town and make an offer? I know, I'll hire a contractor to copy that house, and build it on the edge of town, with a few upgraded amenities, to suitably thank me for being me.

Here's the house dilemma. I would love a big house, but not too big. A really big house is hard to clean, and it's very pretentious to have a live-in maid. Also, if your house is really big, people want to come and stay over all the time, which can be annoying. I like my privacy. I also like guests, I just want them to go home at the end of the day. It has to be set amongst trees, just not so many that they lose too many leaves and make it hard to rake, or make it hard to grow grass. It also has to have a big piece of property around it, big enough for a long driveway with trees set on either side, and big enough to play with my outside toys. Just not so big that it has to be so far out of town that I can't even buy milk without having to drive for 20 minutes.

So I've now gotten my perfectly sized house, with just the right amount of trees and property. I'm laughing now right? Not really. I have to decide on pools. Do I try to be economical and set up a nice above-ground with a nice surrounding deck? Or do I go in-ground? I mean, I AM rich, aren't I? It has to be in-ground. But do I go oval, rectagle, or kidney shaped? And not being a strong swimmer, do I make it all one depth throughout, so I don't drown? Hmm, it's not easy being me, let me tell you.

The pool question also brings up the hot-tub issue. How many people should it fit? Luckily we're on the edge of town, so privacy is not a real issue. I can spa in my "natural state" without having to erect a shelter (get your mind out of the gutter). However, do I want one attached to my pool, like on TV, or one that is of nice maple construction and tucked in close to my expansive deck? It's hard being rich.

Finally, toys. I've always wanted a motorcycle, but my mother is dead-set against them. Can't upset mother too much, she is getting older. A boat, but I can't really swim that well, so water isn't my best friend. I guess I need to answer the age-old question of ATV vs. Snowmobile. We don't live in the great northland, so there isn't much snow to ride a sled on. I'm not a huge fan of riding 4 wheelers, though they can be a little amusing. I DO need a toy to haul behind my Navigator, to justify its ownership. Money doesn't grow on trees, you know. The compromise would seem to be, buy one of each. However, experience tells me that watching someone ride a recreational vehicle isn't nearly as fun as riding one with them. You simply must have at least two. Guess I'll have to buy two of each. There's really no way around it, can't have bored friends and family watching me have fun, it's not very good hospitality. I can't have them going home that night, thinking I'm a bore, now can I?

All the sudden, it's very late when you look at the clock, and you have to wake up early. It's time to ask His help again, to make sure you don't win the lottery. It may be more hassle than it's worth, and you're luckier not winning.

Well, not sure if I'd go that far...