Why It's Good to be ME.

I am not the coolest guy. This I know, and have accepted, though it has been far easier than anyone would have guessed. Want to know why? It's very easy, actually, it's because I am somebody's dad. Outlined here, you will find out some of the benefits, just read along and it'll enlighten you as to why dads are the way we are.

The first thing that you'll find is cool when you become a dad, is, it's okay to not be built like an Adonis. I'm not saying that I'm a sloth or look like Gollum, but those who know me would agree that I may be slightly more padded around the middle than Brad Pitt. The reasons why this is okay are many, but it starts with the simple fact is my work is done. I have attracted my mate (who is beautiful, BTW), and done my duty in propagating my line. The evidence is right there, two healthy, bright and shining examples of my success as a male.

Secondly, once you have a cute little child to present to the world, you simply become a prop, you are the pedestal on which they are set out for viewing. You answer a few questions, lug around the baby paraphernalia, and fade into the background. I wouldn't have it any other way either, as I know that I would rather look at a cute little kid, rather than a fully grown man, even one as pretty as Brad Pitt.

Then on to the attire. As someones dad, you will never be held totally accountable for not dressing in the latest fashions. It saves a tonne of money (a definite benefit), which you will need to save for later in life, when your little darling just has to have 150 dollar jeans, or an 85 dollar sweater!! (yeah, like I'm ever going to pay that much when Walmart has them for less than 40 bucks!) So, you might as well get used to shopping in the clearance section early in their life. Believe me, you can find some good bargains in there, and comfort can rule, when the pressure is off.

Dad's aren't cool, it's a fact of life. No matter what skate-board tricks you can pull, or dance steps you can master, you will never be cool to your teenager. (Remember the triumphant expression your Dad had on his face as he laboured through the "Running Man" at your high school dance, to which he HAD to be a chaperon, because he was a "cool dad". Fun times, huh?) This frees us to live the life we have always wanted to, but feared to do so because we wanted to fit in. Even though band WAS the coolest club at my high school, though nobody believes me in my family, as soon as my kids get to a certain age, band will become dorky. To a small child, a dad who loves to cook is awesome, a supplier of home baked delights, to a teenager, cookies have to come in a hermetically sealed package from the grocery store, or risk ridicule from their peers, that they're DAD made them. My point is this, if I ain't going to be cool anyways, I'm free to do whatever the hell I want to do, and enjoy doing it!

I know that these don't sound like good things, but if you think long enough, you can start to see the liberating qualities. Being a dad is a huge responsibility, a huger expense, and a life long commitment. We should reap what meager rewards we can, as often as we're able. So your Dad isn't simply chubby, or lame, or a fashion 911 incident. He's celebrating the honour and privilege, and exercising the rights, of being Somebody's Dad.