When "I" Became "We"

This weekend marks a big day in my life, the day that "My" life, became "Our" life. Yes, this Sunday will be the 12th Anniversay of my wedding day.

There may be some mention in flowery prose about the love that I feel for my better half, or the luckiness I feel for having her in my life. So, if you are adverse to such mush, look away. Stop reading right now. If you do however, continue to read on, then consider yourself pre-warned, and I do NOT want to hear or read comments about my being a suck-up.

12 years ago, though it doesn't seem nearly so long, we stood together in Sacred Heart Church here in Ingersoll, and linked ourselves in the "bonds of Holy Matrimony". Has it been a forever-smooth ride of wedded bliss? Absolutely not, but I could not picture myself any other way.

So, I guess you could say, I'm a "marriage guy". So many guys speak of their wives like a prison warden, or like a vast anchor on the happiness they feel is due them. The phrase "old ball and chain", didn't just materialize out of thin air, some dullard likened his wife to a medieval personal detainment device, and it took off. I however, have had different ideas from a young age. I knew in elementary school that I wanted to have a daughter with red hair, which I was eventually graced with. I also knew, or thought I knew, that it would be totally amazing to have one person in your life that was your person. Someone who got you, who shared your thoughts, who made you happy, whom you made happy in return. And low and behold, I was also graced with that. My graces are many.

It started rather like a movie, two divergent lives brought together in close proximity by a parking lot shared by our places of employment. I was slaving away, making sure our local McDonalds was running right, and she was the cute Sales Associate at the video store across the lot. (Do they still have video stores?) Anyhow, upon frequent glimpses, and furtive questioning of co-workers, we both thought the other was rather attractive and worth getting to know. Finally, one of us gathered enough courage to ask the other on a date. I'll never forget the way she looked that night,(pretty as a picture), as she asked to speak the manager,(me, of course), and proceeded to see if I wanted to go out sometime. Quit laughing, I was painfully shy around women, and we might never have gotten around to dating if it was left up to me!

You may think it was all golden after that, but there was still a few kinks to work out. I did have the guts to call and speak to her to plan the date--I knew she was going to say yes at that point. But my hopes were somewhat dashed when she shot down my first attempt--"I'd love to go out, but not this weekend". Apparently something about enjoying college plans or something. Then, on the night we were to embark on our first date, somebody had to work an emergency shift, thereby cancelling the well thought-out plans. The flowers I bought to apologize for that gaff were pretty expensive...

After that first date, despite my notably horrid moves, she agreed to see me again, and again. After that again, I was hooked. She was my person.

I have a partner who knows what I'm thinking, often before I do. We can sit in silence, then say "you know what?" and oddly enough, we do know what. We drive down the street and want to make the same scathing comments about the creepy pedestrians. This is very handy when walking through the mall, as close quarters would make us seem rude if we were to point and grimace at that really big girl in a really small pair of shorts, or that really not-hot guy, strutting like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

We have weathered a lot. We went through a separation, that nearly destroyed us. I only think of this as a dark time in my life, where I was like a ship with no rudder. We did, however, find our way back together, and all the time spent apart only emphasized how right it is for us to be together.

I am happy. I don't NEED to have my time alone with the guys to blow off steam. I want to blow off that steam with her. She is the friend I am itching to get to, to tell her of my day's happenings.

When I want to get away, it is with her. When I want to crack a joke, it is for her. When I see myself in 50 years, it is with her.

I have been graced in many ways, I have two beautiful children, I have a great family. I have some good friends, and a job I like to do. But I am most graced with being able to spend my life with a beautiful, smart, funny woman, who for some reason likes me.

I remember that day, when "I " became "We", and don't regret it one bit. It cemented her as my person, and I am forever grateful she is.