Why MEN Will Always Rule the World...Volume One

Let me start by saying, I am not anti-women. I love women, and feel that they in every respect should be considered equal. This essay isn't a shot at the fairer sex, more an editorial on the conditions of the world.

So, Why? You are asking yourself. How could I possibly make such a bold statement? What rock have I crawled out from under? What time-warp am I living in? Let me explain:

1. Physicality

There are a number of reasons why men will rule the world. The first is the easiest to explain. Pure physical contruction. When man was created, he was a marvel of construction, and still is. Though not nearly as attractive as the female, our bodies are made bigger, stronger, more able to withstand the rigors of frontier life.

Assuming that the origins of man's reign occur in a more primitive time, I'll establish how our contruction aided us in our conquest.

Size and strength were the two main factors in establishing our dominance. Being larger, men were able exert our will over the less stronger women, and even smaller men of the time. Our physical prowess helped us in physically changing the landscape and build shelters. Each one larger and more complex than the previous one. Even today, larger more imposing men still exude a dominance that cows others into following our will, even though there are laws and civil niceties which keep us from fighting to claim "turf".

In times gone by, the leaders of a country or nation were largely decided by who could kick the most ass. The fact that someone was wise was important too, but brains without brawn never made a village Chief. For safety reasons, the smaller, less imposing people gladly subjugated themselves to the strong, for survival. So at least historically speaking, size and strength equals ruling the roost.

There is also the matter of the male body, aiding in becoming a ruler, by the matter of how it is designed. Greater height (in most cases) helped us see farther, and build higher. In fact, even today, who reaches the things off the top shelf?--Men. Our more rugged construction enabled us to survive in harsher environments. And then there is the matter of our man-bits. Is there ever a more ingenious design? They're self-regulating when it comes to temperature. When it's hot, they stretch our for cooling. When it's cold, they pull up close to retain precious body heat. When it's very cold, they seemingly crawl up inside, as if they know how imperative they are to procreation of the species. Then finally, the exterior nature of the plumbing allows us to relieve ourselves without sitting down. This makes it much easier to do it on the go, whether we're in battle, on a job site, or simply on our way home from the bar after a few too many.

2. Mentality

Mentality can mean many things, for those who are detractors, it means we could just be mental. But what I'm talking about here is more the mind-set that sets us up as the leader, the one always searching for the next opportunity, or next innovation.

Men think with a different part of their brains, and though I am not a scientist, and this isn't a scientific essay, this is a scientifically proven fact. We are more linear, objective thinkers, less prone to make emotional decisions. Our logical thought processes create laws to govern, inventions to make life better, and methods to defeat our opponents, in both war and business. All the time, thinking of ways to set ourselves up as the leader, and ways to maintain that status.

Men also have a crucial feature that can sometimes be considered a flaw, but is imperative in our domination of the world, both past and present. Greed. Without our insatiable need for more, humanity would never have stretched out our boundaries to encompass the globe, we would never have progressed past sticks and fire, we never would have populated the planet. Sure women have been noted for wanting more things, but when it comes to being Greedy, men have a handle on the market. We want it all, and then a little more, and are willing to do most anything within our means to achieve it. I would hazard to suggest that most of the world's great achievements can be traced back in some way, to the greed of men.

Male mentality is prevalent in all we do. When we walk into a situation, we look to see how we can become the dominate it. When we walk into a bar, we immediately assess the other men in it to see who we can beat up, or get beaten up by. When we walk into a group of people, we see who we can bring around to our will, whether by verbal means or otherwise.

This is not to say that as we walk around, all men are going to beat up everyone around them, and try to procreate with all the women they come across. It is to suggest though, that there beneath the surface in every one of us, is the instinct to become the leader, and the potential to become the leader. It is this instinct, that will insure that though there may be women world leaders, the world will always be ruled by men.

Oh, Go #$^K! Yourself!

Our world moves at the speed of light, science surrounds us everywhere. We have computerized cars that paralell park themselves. Coffee makers that wake us up, and start brewing on their own (not that anybody makes coffee at home anymore, grrrr). We have toothbrushes that tell us when we have sufficiently cleaned our teeth. We have even found a way to teach ourselves to be fit and healthy, while we play video games!! What have we forgotten to teach--common decency.

I am a nice person, just ask my mother. Most definitely without prejudice. But I find myself hating almost everybody I come across anymore. Sound harsh? Maybe, but it isn't without reason, let me assure you.

Yesterday, I went to the gas station. Wait for it, it gets offensive. I filled my van with the amount of fuel I wished, let my six year old daughter out of the van, and holding her hand, we started around our vehicle to go and pay. Not however, before we were almost run over by a pick-up truck that went screaming between the building and the pumps! You may think, "Wow, good thing you stopped in time," and indeed I was thinking that--in small part. What I was thinking more, was, "Why the @#$$! was that driver going so fast, in such a confined area, where there is a certainty, not just a probability, of pedestrians?"

Perhaps he had heard on the news that Woodstock was having that wierd occurance of random gas pump movement. Yes, you think they are in the place that they are municipally zoned for, serenely attached to their underground storage tanks, when BAM! Before you know it, they jump up, and move across the street, with ridiculous speed. The only way to combat it, apparently is to approach gas pumps at full throttle, regardless of whomever may be around.

Perhaps he was just an ass.

My vote goes for the second option. As after he had to hit his brakes for the millisecond it took for him to realize that I had stopped, and dragged my young daughter back to safety, he continued at speed and had the audacity to mouth phrases about my parentage and sensibility. It took all my self-control and will-power not to go over and pull him out of his truck and soundly thrash the living daylights out of him. I had my daughter, I had to maintain a modicum of decorum, and so I restrained myself to a muttered expression of distaste under my breath, completely devoid of profanity. It did little to assuage my anger.

So, you older gentleman, driving a taupe Mazda pick-up in Woodstock, yesterday shortly after 10am, on Norwich Avenue, at the Sunoco station by Burger King, you are an ass. I wish nothing good for you or your lineage. Unless, of course, you pull your head out of your own, gaping maw of a prodigious ass, and start to act like a decent human being.

Later yesterday, I went with my father-in-law to the grocery store, where he was going to purchase a large ticket item, which required the cargo capabilities of our van to bring it home. I now work as a service provider for the grocery business, so I am fully aware that the Saturday of the Easter Weekend is the single biggest sales day of the year. We were very polite, and, aware of the busy-ness of the day, inquired at the customer service/lottery counter, rather than disturb the associates on the floor, to get our item. Well, it was all for naught, as the lady promptly paged for someone from in the store proper, and left us to stand and awkwardly wait for someone to help us.

Enough time passed for us to read a chapter of a fairly wordy book, before another associate strolled in, and kind of looked at us, without any greeting of any type. The first lady said, "Yeah, they want a ____." Without any further instruction, this second associate turned on her heel, and walked into the store area displaying the object of our visit. We pointed out which one we wanted, she said, "That's the one you want?" we agreed, and then we were off again, to follow her without any instruction. I inquired to her back if they had any that had already been assembled, to which she said no, that "was an extra charge." She didn't actually bother to see if we were willing to inccur such a charge, she just kept on walking.

I guess after we followed her for a while, seemingly on an aimless journey around the store, she must have tired of her two full grown "puppies", she informed us that she was just "going to the back to get it, you don't need to follow me all over." Perhaps good customer service would have dictated she just inform us what she was going to do, and give us the option to wait wherever we were most comfortable.

Perhaps she was just an ass.

Having dealt with the employees at this store for some time now, and experiencing the feeling that they were indeed doing me a favour by letting me spend my money there, providing them with further employment, I vote again for the second option.

Many of my fellow townspeople will know of which store I am speaking, and want to come to its defence. So I will stipulate this, not all of its associates are dreadful. In fact, the store owner still understands the tenents of customer service, but he doesn't force the entire staff to exercise them, and in fact, his most apparently "valuable" staff members are amongst the worst offenders.

Where does this lack of decency and respect stem from. I will go out on a limb here, and say it all started with the disdain for corporal punishment. Parents saying, "Oh, I don't believe in spanking, it doesn't show a respect for my child," has resulted in the rest of the world saying, "Oh, those young people don't show respect for others."

With new-age parents showing a desrespect for time-honoured traditions like spankings, and in schools, the "Strap", our society has bred a new type of young person, who have a sense of entitlement that astounds me.

For example, as I was driving up the street towards my home recently, I saw a teenager standing at the curb, in the middle of the block, so far from the corner in fact, he was standing on grass. I saw him look at me, and guage that I was indeed too close for him to cross safely, I even had eye contact with him at this point. Yet, without fear, he stepped out and began to cross the street, DIAGONALLY, EVEN, which took him directly across the path of my oncoming car. Maintaining eye contact the whole time, knowing he was making me alter the pace and course of my vehicle, I watched him walk at a leisurely pace right in front of me. Unable to contain myself anymore, I honked my horn at him as he cleared the right corner of my hood, close enough to touch it. To which he responded with a universal salute you all would understand. I came home and threatened my own son with my foot broken off in his exhaust port if I ever caught him behaving so poorly.

Yet, all is not lost. Let me tell you of a really wonderful experience of decency that my family experienced. Last fall, after dropping our daughter off at a birthday party in Woodstock, my wife and I were at odds of how to waste two and a half hours of free time. Not for long, as my wife's friend said, "Hey, come wait at my mom's with me."

Feeling somewhat intrusive, we went and found this lady still her pajamas, playing with the grandkids that had just had a sleepover. Without batting an eye at two extra visitors appearing sans formal invitation, we were welcomed and soon engrossed in stimulating and fun conversation. In fact, our impromptu visit soon became an invitation for dinner, despite the fact we had to leave and come back. I received valuable career advice, a most delicious meal, and by the end of the night, I was guaranteed a place in the will. (Okay, maybe that's just my interpretation.)

My point isn't as much that in order to be a decent person you have to feed me, (but that does help) you just have to be open and friendly, and ready to smile. There is an old adage that finds its root in the bible, that says, "Treat others, the way you would have them treat you in return." If children were all taught this without fail, our world would be a better place.

Would I rather praise my kid than punish my kid? Yes, but if they are acting poorly they deserve some poor treatment in response. Would I rather students not get the "Strap" at school? Yes, but if they are behaving in a very bad fashion, it needs to be there as a deterrant. Respect for others should be inate, but often it isn't. Sometimes we need to push it along a little.

And finally, would I rather make someone wait in a parking lot sometimes rather than make them dinner? To be honest, probably yes. But, I think I may start to cook that dinner, in hopes to see it paid forward somewhere, somehow.

I didn't want to take this journey, but now that I'm on it...

As a responsible, red-blooded man, there's a list of things that you never want to hear. It's a relatively short one--things like someone you know is dead, your significant other has (a) cheated, (b) decided you are no longer significant to them, (c) spent all of your money, (d) wrecked the family car. This list generally impacts the things a man holds as key to his core identity. Probably one of the most heinous things to hear, is that you are no longer required at your place of employment.

Ask most men about themselves, and the first thing they respond with is their job; "I'm a lawyer," "I'm a contractor," "I'm a plumber," no matter what their vocation, it is integral to their being.

I was a Production Supervisor, a good one, for a division of a national dairy co-operative. I didn't necessarily hold it as my life's ambition, but I took pride in the fact that I gave it 100%, every time I walked in the doors. I'm writing about the day I heard that I was no longer required, and my journey since that day.

"We're going in a different direction..."

If those are the words that are spoken, or any other combination that spells "goodbye", and you've had nothing indicated to you that you may be in jeopardy, they strike you with the force of a sledgehammer, right in the stomach. Your first impulse is panic. How are the bills going to be paid? How will your family eat? How will you be able to buy Christmas presents? These questions shoot rapid-fire through your mind. Then you think of things like, What am I going to tell people? Are people going to believe that I'm not fired? How am I going to face my wife? My kids? My family?

The panic starts to fade, as soon as the anger starts to boil. How dare they let ME go? Just who the @#&K do they think they are!?! They are going to rue this day!!! You get the point, and in fact, there is probably a lot more expletives flowing at this time, so it's better to move on.

In my particular case, the answers about financial matters were quickly answered by a discussion involving a severance package, that I am contractually obligated to not discuss, though upon some investigation it proved to be fair, not extravagant, but fair.

In a matter of a few moments, I had been transformed from a loyal employee of almost 5 years, to a speechless, shell-shocked, unemployed guy, who had to be escorted from the premises that the very day before I was completely responsible for, for huge chunks of time. This is stuff that happens to others, never me! Well, it certainly can happen, it certainly did.

There are things that I will remember about this job, that will certainly sound like a disgruntled former employee, so I will hold my tongue, for the most part. I will not forget the wonderful people I worked with, as well as the not-so wonderful. I will never forget the callousness of being led into a meeting, about to have my world smashed, by someone who wanted to see me "for a minute..." I won't forget becoming "expendable", on the second day of my week, because it was more convenient than meeting me on a Sunday night (my Monday). I will remember these as a guide on how people should be shown respect and courtesy, even if they don't fit into the long-term plans of a company. I will never show someone the same discourtesy that was shown to me.

As you drive home, your stomach sinks lower and lower into your abdomen, as you dread the first person you must impart this news to, your wife. You have always taken pride in the fact that you are the provider, you are the rock, that stuff needs to be done, and you do it. Now, you must show vulnerability, you must be less than your image of yourself, and you feel small. My wife, after the shock of the whole thing wore off, was a pillar of support for me. She never once pointed a finger, and I'll never be able to repay her for her rebuilding me, making me feel whole.

The most respectful thing that the company did in transitioning me into unemployment, was to provide me the services of a career transitionalist. It was a kind of "we can't use you, but someone else may, and here's someone to help you find them" gesture, but it was valuable. I dealt originally with a guy named Terry, from a firm in London, who while being very likable and intense, was very unhelpful. Like Anthony Powers, but without a seminar, or a high-powered car salesman without a car lot. He did however, put me in touch with Allison, who helped me assemble the things I needed to craft a kick-ass resume, which I can attest, opens doors. Thanks Allison.

There are many handy things a transitionalist will speak of, the "hidden" job market, how to build your network, and therefore your potential to find a job. They also say that most jobs aren't found in postings and advertisements, they are found by calling the companies on your "target list". I say, respectfully, if someone wants to hire someone, then they post an ad, they are the most likely ones to be hiring. But, what do I know, I was just an unemployed guy?

I learned some valuable interview skills from them, I learned how to use the search tools available to everyone online, and I learned to rely on myself. Ultimately, there is only one person who is able to help you find employment, you.

So I had a new full-time job, finding one, that paid. You are told by everyone you come across in the job-finding industry, to expect at least a six-month search. For me, six months was too long--I needed no more than 4. Cue the hard work.

I have found from personal experience, that the "hidden job market" is hidden for a reason, because it doesn't exist. I advocate a simple approach, once you have a stellar resume, and are connected to the various search engines and job sites, apply, apply, apply. Apply to any and every job that vaguely resembles something you can do. Apply to jobs near and far, even if you are extremely limited as to locations you can accept employment in. Put your kick-ass resume into cyber-space in as many nooks and crannies as you possibly can, and then, wait.

The waiting sucks, hard. It sucks, but it can pay off, as soon you will be getting calls from recruiters, from companies, and hopefully one will pay off. Never say no to someone right away, even if they are from Cornwall, because you want to get that next step along the process, because if you handle it right, you can inch your way into talking to the person with the right chance, your chance.

What else that sucks, is the total disregard that potential employers hold for you. They expect you to jump the moment that they call you for an interview. Which you must do, or else. They expect you to wait patiently for them, 20 minutes after your appointment time, because they got sidetracked. They expect you to lay out your soul for them, to explain and defend every move you have ever made in life, so they can pass judgement on you as a person. Then they promise to call you by a certain date, because it is only polite to do so, regardless of the outcome, but never call.

Looking for a job, is a life-lesson on how little value we have as members of society, if we are unlucky enough to be unemployed. It is also a hard-knocks school we can attend to strengthen ourselves as individuals, and to create our own 10 Commandments of how to treat people with dignity and respect, despite the station they occupy in life.

Well 18 interviews later, and in only 4 months, (Thank you very much!) I had not one but two final job offers!! It merely took applying to upwards of 400 positions, and countless prayers. A final lesson, never discount the help of the Almighty when searching for your place in life.

I am engrossed in training with a company that I selected from my two offers not because they offered more money, because they didn't, but because they were one of the only ones in my search who made a commitment and honoured it. I hope for a long and profitable future with them, living by the new lessons I have had these past few months.

When life hands you lemons, and you want to kick it in the stones, don't. Take that energy and make lemonade, it just tastes better.

I need a Cigarette...I just had "Multiple Rants"

I'm sorry, I haven't posted in a few days, okay more like 10 or 11, but I've been busy. It's work, you know, soaking up the world's follies and trying to organize them into coherent paragraphs. I didn't have one major item that annoyed me greatly, so here are a bunch of smaller ones:

1/ Remember, Mom said to wear clean underwear when you're travelling, just in case... : Okay, so there are bad people in the world, nobody argues with that. Why then, are people arguing with the installation of body scanners at airports? Duh! I was stuck in a line-up for a car wash yesterday and while I was listening to a radio talk show (Yes, I like AM radio, what of it?) I heard supposedly intelligent people calling in complaining about their right to privacy. How about my right not to get blown up by an idiot with a bomb shoved up his ass?

The president of Ryerson's School of Law(and something else), a Dr. Levinn(?) came on in strong opposition of the scanners. He likened the scanners to us living in a dictatorship, with no rights, and the government subjugating us and oppressing us. He felt we were sliding down a slippery slope, and the government was taking the easy way out, installing machines to scan everybody, instead of keeping proper intelligence on "questionable" individuals, or groups of people, and just bothering them when they try to travel. He would rather we pull aside every 20-35 year-old and hand-scan them (those are the ages of most of our terrorists?), or every person of the nationality whose country we deem to be our greatest threats, rather than scanning innocent individuals. Gee, that sounds like he is promoting a prejudiced, profiling view, unfairly targeting huge sections of innocent individuals.
If we were to adopt his methods, we would be throwing ourselves whole-heartedly back in time, to when it was okay to stereotype whole races. Blacks are stupid, ignorant people, let's make them slaves. The Irish are dumb immigrants, trying to steal our jobs, nobody hire them. Women aren't capable of rational thought, don't give them the vote. All Muslims are terrorists, put them all away.
None of these are true, so we can't let logic like that prevail. It is true that there are dumb black people and Irish people, but there are certainly an equal number of other dumb people. Some women have trouble making decisions, but so do some men. Some Muslims are terrorists, but no more than any other religion. When we separate one group to "look at closer" we are more guilty of oppression than having every single person go through a scanner.
I remember simple logic that my mother taught me, when we were little kids. It's only fair if everyone gets to do it. It's only fair to bring treats to school if there's enough for everyone. It's only fair to play with a toy if everyone gets to play. It's only fair to have scanners at the airport if everyone has to be scanned.
So, suck it up, make sure you have on clean underwear, and go through the damn scanner. You'll only get in trouble, if you happen to have a bomb on you.

2/ Where in the World is Tiger Woods?: Where is he? Since I last mentioned him, he hasn't been seen, except sneaking in and out of a cosmetic dentistry office. Is it possible that yours truly drove him into hiding? If he's too embarrassed to show his face because his wife really did knock his teeth in with a golf club, then he's more of a coward than I thought. You did a bad thing, she did a totally understandable thing, be a man and accept the consequences. The world is continuing to spin without Tiger, you are just making yourself look like more of an ass.

3/ Team Canada lost at the World Juniors, We're DOOMED!!: So, Canada only won silver this year, and didn't make it 6 consecutive gold medals. Boo Hoo. Then I read online how pathetic we are as a nation, and our hockey programs are garbage, that we will not win at the Olympics. How about being proud of those young men who really gave it their all to try and bring the gold home? We are doing those guys a huge disservice.
Canada is the greatest country on earth, and I am sick of everyone not giving us our due. I don't feel we have to completely hitch our wagons to the "Hockey Star". We do far more than play hockey here. We created the telephone, the snow-mobile, and the Blackberry! We kick ass at curling. (Okay, so that's a stretch, yahoo!) So, show some pride, and be glad to be Canadian.
Incidentally, we ARE going to win gold at the Olympics.

4/ At Walmart yesterday, guess what I found on a shelf?: A brown paper cup...GRRRRRRRR!!
Does nobody have any decency out there?

5/ To whomever blinked their high beams at me on the 401...: You know who you are, driving a silver Honda Civic, between the hours of 1:30pm and 2:27pm, between Ingersoll and Woodstock. What the @#%&!?! If I am going 124kms/hr, and passing all the vehicles in the other two lanes, DO NOT come screaming out of nowhere in the middle lane, then jump in behind me, and blink for me to get over. If you hadn't been in that lane, then I would have been able to move over to let you pass. If we weren't both passing the other cars, I would have pulled over to let you pass. But, why are YOU so much more important than I, so much so that I have to slow my progress towards my destination and fall in behind slower cars to let you move on through?
Drivers licenses should only be issued to those who are not stupid. Then there would be lots of space left for the precious few of us left, out there on the roads.

6/ This is actually a thumbs up!: The Canadian Supreme Council of Muslims issued a farwa(?), declaring that attacks of Canada and the USA are actually attacks on MUSLIMS.
Now, a positive step against jihad. Like I said, not all muslims are terrorists, in fact, there are 20 million muslims in North America, freely worshipping. 20 imams, or leaders from major mosques are standing up for those who aren't, and pointing out to the terrorists who is actually getting hurt in these senseless attacks. It's about time someone made some sense!

Stay tuned for more, same bat blog...